Ooooh I really love it Michelle! I have one teeny tiny weird suggestion. You said "original" about his father's anger speech and his mother's funeral, and for some reason it bothers me to see it twice. But that is obviously kind of weird, and that's it. I really love this ending though, so much!
Sara, thank you so much for your feedback! Interesting that you mention the two statements about the reaction/funeral being original. I actually intended for them to kind of reflect each other, so I used the same verbiage. But it sounds like that didn't come through, so I'll do a read-through and see if it's something I should change or elaborate on. :)
Ah, well now that you put it that way I DO see it. It might have just been me, I'm weird about things sometimes!
Well, if it came across as irritating, then I didn't execute it right! I'll see what I can do to make it sound more deliberate. :) Thanks, Sara!
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